Libra (September 23 – October 23)
Later on this month, you might come into conflict with some deep inner feelings. The abuse of the Belgian beer has driven you to be unfaithful. You hate yourself for it, but eventually you accept what has happened and convince yourself it wasn’t your fault. This process might repeat itself several times in the near future, but eventually you meet a wonderful French lover and you decide overnight to get married and have 5 babies together! Don’t do too much of heavy lifting, because hernias are very common with Libras. Rather ask your strong neighbour for some help to get all your new Ikea-stuff installed in your room.
Scorpio (October 24 – November 21)
Your persistent mind has helped you a lot in the past and will continue to do so in the future to help you obtain all the goals you have set for yourself. However, your carelessness can sometimes cause irreparable damage to your plans. The great taste of the Belgian cuisine is a threat for that athletic body of yours. Keep an eye on that! As Scorpios have proven to be great lovers, the adult industry might be something worth considering if you are dealing with a difficult career choice at this moment. When you are drunk, you have the tendency to get even drunker and run around naked through the bar. Remember that not everybody enjoys that as much as you do!
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Sagittarians tend to have a very spontaneous personality and have a great sense of humour. Lots of your jokes are, however, misunderstood, which makes you look like a fool in many occasions. Recently, you have been having terrible nightmares about your favourite pet, a goldfish named Barbie, being abducted by aliens. Later in life you want to become very rich and famous, but, as it stands, you still have a long way to go. Sagittarians are known to get drunk very fast. If you want to survive some of the future ESN activities you will have to work on this matter.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
The recent death of a close family member has made you a little less enjoyable the last few weeks. This time of misery is soon to be ended and replaced by a period of incredible joy and laughter. Unfortunately, later this year, your plan to start your own night shop will totally backfire and cause financial problems, again resulting in a deep depression. To get over the bad feelings, you stop your healthy diet and you give in to all the good stuff Belgium has to offer, thereby doubling your BMI. Capricorns are known for their love of horses, but a bed spread with a picture of the Black Stallion is just not done. You tend to fall in love with the wrong people. Next time, try to find yourself a girl/boy who actually has less problems than you already have. Ps: Jesus was a Capricorn.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarians find themselves on a slippery slope the next couple of weeks. A couple of life changing decisions hang above your head. Whichever choice you make will affect your future life a great deal. On top of that you are involved in an impossible romance with the daughter of your supervisor, who you really can’t stand. Maybe it’s time to consider stepping over to the dark side! Time to go wild and to forget all conventional rules. Time to stop calling your mommy every day and to become a real independent individual. You will be surprised what you can obtain by using your natural charisma!
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Many call you the life of the party, some really can’t stand your over extravert personality. No matter what, you always have a good time when you are amongst friends. Unfortunately, your poor health will cause you to miss out on some of the best ESN activities in the next few months. After considering selling yourself on the streets of Ghent, cleaning the rooms of all your flat mates seemed like a better way to get some extra money in your wallet. Don’t forget to always put a pair of Triple A batteries in your pocket. They might come in handy some time. Bedroom tip: good sex lasts longer than the intro of your favourite TV-show.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
As an Aries, you are very suspicious and you have trouble trusting people you barely know. However, once the thick outer shell is peeled off, you are the best friend one could have. You love to go shopping with a hangover on Saturdays and you sincerely detest people who drive a BMW. With the start of a new episode in your life it might be a good idea to stop smoking. Financially you are doing well. However, that sexual harassment lawsuit against you is costing you lots of money. Furthermore, you like doing some sports, but you really suck at driving that yellow bike of yours.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
A month of many surprises is awaiting you. Fortunately for you, many of them are of a positive nature. Definitely keep an eye out in your neighbourhood for some interesting people, some of them will eventually become the best friends you ever had. Next to that, it’s time to push that diet aside for a year and to enjoy life to the fullest! Don’t plan too many activities for after your stay in Ghent, because whatever money you had saved up will be spent by the time you will have finished your Erasmus. Your favourite drink will be Duvel from now on. Your favourite Belgian fastfood a Bicky Burger with extra dried onions.
Gemini (May 21- June 21)
Gemini are very sensitive and sympathetic people who are exceptionally good at listening to other people’s problems, which will turn you into a personal psychiatrist for some people. You absolutely love feeding your friends the home cooked typical dishes from your country. On top of that, these lovely diners also create many opportunities for romance this month. Later this month, you will personally come into contact with the local police force when a local brewery visit will get out of control. If by any chance you start feeling any discomfort while taking a piss, you might want to take a couple of tablets of Zithromax.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
As you are tired of your fairly boring and uninteresting life, you have chosen a new direction in your life. So far, the choice you made has only increased the quality of your life. Even your health is improving drastically. For professional reasons you have to come into contact with some very boring individuals. Don’t ignore them! They will prove their use in the near future. Strangely enough, the only person in the world who doesn’t have a Facebook account is a cancer. Handcuffs and similar toys will be needed soon to spice up the daily routine in the bedroom!
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Normally, you are perceived as a traditional, selfish person. The most important person in your life is yourself. Many say, a trip to India and a conversion to Hinduism is the only thing that can save you now from a certain, lonely death. The next weeks, you start to appreciate the taste of bananas, although you still detest the smell of them crooked yellow fruits. Your incredible victory in your local village’s Karaoke Championships doesn’t give you the permission to keep everybody in your home awake with your practice-songs. Due to inappropriate behaviour in the local pub, an encounter with the Belgian law is imminent.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You are a very passionate person who always gives his/her best. Some friends think you are greedy, but you make up for that by spreading lots of love around. Your favourite hobby on Saturday afternoons is sitting down in the city centre and pretending to be a beggar. Virgos are prone to have nosebleeds. Some of them are caused by irritating people around you. Get rid of them for your own health! Soon, you will find a new source of income, which will create envy in your close social circle.